I haven't talked to quite a few of you since we all returned to our "normal" lives. Coming back was not that hard for me when we first returned. I was looking forward to having my home room to myself, to walking barefoot around my house on soft carpet, to watching TV while lounging on the couch, to opening a refrigerator filled with my own food, to driving my car, to blasting my favorite music in my car, to getting on my oh-so-favorite Mac laptop, to going out at night, to seeing my home friends, to getting back to Como and all of the great parts of a college town, to working and making money, to watching Cardinals baseball, to wearing fashionable and well-fitting clothes, and quite a few other things. At first, all of these things were great. I felt fine allowing myself to do pretty much whatever I wanted because I was going to go back to work full-time starting last Wednesday. However, I found out on Tuesday (one day before I was supposed to go back to work) that for various reasons my employer wouldn't be able to hire me back for a month. Honestly, that was somewhat of a relief knowing I wouldn't be waking up at 5:45 every morning and going to a full day's work. I was also looking forward to having plenty of free time to read, research, or do anything productive that I wished. The only downside that I originally saw was a serious lack of money. But for the past week since I should have been working I have been anything but productive. My average routine consists of waking mid-morning, watching some SportsCenter, making a quick and unhealthy lunch, watching two or three episodes of Lost Season One online, taking a nap, showering, washing some dishes, checking the mail, and then turning the TV back on. I have felt a major lack of purpose since returning from Africa. It's been getting to me these past few days that I'm not doing anything with my days. I've also been thinking a LOT about what God might be calling me to do after graduation. I've got two or three ideas with scripture to back up any of them. It seems like I flip flop what I feel his call is every single day. So, I feel purposeless with my daily routine and am in a state of muddled confusion about the future. I am a big fan of schedules and plans, so I can't wait until a have some structure to my days and know what's going to happen next. Tomorrow I am actually moving back to Como for the summer (I think) and will be going to job orientation for a job that I will have for at least a month or more (I think). I love when things get set in stone instead of dealing with instability (it's a miracle I was OK with that in Africa), so I am praying that starting tomorrow I might have a better idea of what the rest of my summer will look like. Please be praying that things might become more settled in Columbia and that I will find a bit of purpose in my summer days. I love all of you African peeps. I'd love to hear some extended stories of everyone's experiences since returning home. Until Cameroon Summer Project 09???
Michael
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